ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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