whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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