Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
whose ass print is on the piano?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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