Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
