they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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