3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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