Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize