a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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