i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
