I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
