is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
