What a fucking waste of an outfit
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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