I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
