So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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