There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i now understand why vodka
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
