dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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