She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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