Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
