She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
