When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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