great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
