I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
