you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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