I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
