is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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