Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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