Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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