apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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