Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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