i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
