i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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