when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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