he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
