if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
