i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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