God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
