I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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