Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
