big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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