Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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