Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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