he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
