therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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