I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
