We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
