just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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