Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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