Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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