I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
