You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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