Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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