Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
