is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
