At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
