CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Are my feet made of real feet?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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