I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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