shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Success! We fucked roommates!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize