Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize