and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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