I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
