his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize