I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
