I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
